Big Sur
(Jack Kerouac)

Chapter One

The narrator of Big Sur is Jack Duluoz, an alter-ego of author Jack Kerouac; other characters are also alter-egos of Kerouac’s real-life friends, many of whom also appeared in On the Road with different pseudonyms. Jack is in San Francisco, and he is hungover and depressed; he achieved notable success after his first novel, but his drinking habit has gotten in the way of all his lofty plans. Jack has many fans who refer to him as the “King of Beatniks” and he hopes to escape them and return to the city where he can live out of the public eye. Jack has come to San Francisco from Long Island to see his friend Lorenzo Monsanto who invited him to stay at his place in Big Sur. Jack has been eager to escape the limelight as he has found fame to be exhausting and the constantly swarming fans have drained him of his creative impulses. When Jack first arrived in San Fran, he got drunk and passed out in his hotel room with friends Ben and Robert. After Jack wakes, he finds that he is alone; Ben and Robert have left and Lorenzo has gone to Big Sur without him. Jack is depressed with the state of his life; he began drinking to escape the fame and desperately needs to “get away”. He is no longer the young man who wrote On the Road, he is a forty-year-old who is bored and tired with life. While Jack enormously enjoyed his road trip to San Francisco, he now finds himself alone in a hotel room listening to the sounds of life outside his window.

Chapter Two

Jack refers to his hotel room as a “dismal cell”. He does not have many possessions, which he brought with him, but those he did are noteworthy to him. He has a first aid kit, and his mother has packed him some sewing supplies. As Jack takes stock of his belongings he also takes stock of his life; he knows that it is time for him to make some moves or he will cease to exist. Jack has spent the last three years of his life living in a drunken stupor, or “drunken hopelessness” as he likes to call it. He explains to the reader that drunken hopelessness is like no other hopelessness that exists in the world and is nothing like the pessimism or existentialism that one can learn about in books; it is both physical and spiritual and is all-consuming. Jack has had moments where he has woken up in a state of delirium brought on by his alcohol withdrawal which makes him feel outside of his own body, heavy with depression, and with a debilitating fear of death. Jack has no desire to ever feel that way again so he gets out of bed and forces himself to shower before the weight comes down on him. Jack knows he needs to get out of town so he gets on a bus headed to Monterey.

Chapter Three

Jack recalls the directions that Lorenzo Monsanto gave him to get to Big Sur, and Monterey is his first stop. Once Jack arrives in Monterey, he must head toward Raton Canyon Bridge, which will be a fourteen mile trek to the south. Jack takes the short cab ride to the bridge, and when he gets there he is overwhelmed and intimidated; the bridge is more than he imagined and he is a bit terrified by it. Jack feels that he must be in the wrong place because the way Lorenzo had described his place in Big Sur seemed happy and woodsy, not scary mysterious. It is unusually dark at the bridge, and the lantern Jack is carrying barely helps him to move forward at all; he can hear the surf below his feet, but he cannot see the ground below him which makes each step in the dim lantern light a gigantic leap of faith. Jack finally makes it across the bridge and sees a creek that he recognizes from the picture that Lorenzo had drawn him. Jack enters the woods and finds them mightily dark and primitive; he does not know what to expect and is a little fearful of what he might find or of what might find him. Jack finally is greeted with the “Heaven” he has been looking for; he finds a sandy little path on the other side of a barbed wire fence.

Chapter Four

Jack wakes in the morning having spent his night on the ground next to the creek. He is laying on pure white sand which is a far cry from the scary scene he sees not too far away; the bridge that Jack felt was ominous and dark the night before is now in daylight and the water that he thought was far below him was indeed about 1,000 feet beneath the bridge. Jack is positively terrified of the bridge, seeing it without a blanket of darkness. He looks into the water below and sees a car which must have plummeted off the bridge; Jack’s fear of the bridge only deepens at this sighting. Jack was under the impression that Big Sur would be beautiful, as was its reputation, but he does not find it beautiful at all. Jack finds Big Sur to be like living in a nightmare; he is scared of his surroundings and scared that he is trespassing on land that the creatures within do not want him to enter unto.

Chapter Five

There is a mule that Jack has seen around Big Sur and he names it Alf the Sacred Burro. Certain parts of Big Sur are quite scary to Jack, and though he feels like he is getting better, he is slowly going mad, and six weeks into his trip in Big Sur he is truly beginning to lose his mind. The scenery in Big Sur reminds Jack of the drunken nightmares he had been having in New York, and which he begins having again a little while into his stay at Lorenzo’s cabin.

Before Jack gets ahead of himself he takes the story back to when he found the cabin. Lorenzo took Jack back into the town of Monterey to get some supplies for his stay and then he drops Jack back off at the cabin where he will stay, alone with his thoughts, for the next three weeks. At first Jack gets settled into a routine where he “listens to the sea” and writes down what it tells him to; his life feels peaceful, he cooks meals for himself, he sleeps well, he takes in his surroundings, and he makes time to read. Although Jack is at peace in his solitude, he realizes a certain nostalgia for city life which he had not seen much until this point. In the city, Jack muses, a person can forget about how sick life can be but out in the wilderness life seems fragile and innocent.

Chapter Six

Jack continues to reference the time a few weeks from the present when he will go mad, but speaks in the present, as well. For the most part, he is truly happy with Lorenzo’s cabin and enjoys being there, though he wishes that there were screens on the windows and door to keep the bugs out. He spends a significant portion of his time daydreaming, doing a bit of writing, and he sends prayers to the “local spirits” asking them if he could stay in Big Sur forever. What Jack enjoys most about being in the solitude of the cabin is the lack of city influences; there is no alcohol, no drugs, and no pressure to be King of Beatniks. Jack continues to adapt to live in the wilderness, even building a tent indoors to keep small animals from getting to him in his sleep (one night a rat ran over his head). He likes to spend his time exploring all the hills and valleys because it makes him feel as though the beat generation is far away.

One day Jack sees a massive Redwood tree that had fallen across a valley, probably many years ago, and he imagines dragging it back to the cabin, and all the tourists talking about how strong he is. In August, the temperature cools and the wind picks up; Jack likes that it keeps the tourists away, but he thinks that the sound of the wind contributes to him losing his mind. One day Jack utterly forgot who he was, and to him, that was the best day he had up to that point. He relished working outdoors though he had a hard time looking back at those moments after his retreat into madness. He does not try to elaborate because he does not know how and does not want to be false.

Chapter Seven

It is only four days into Jack’s stay at the cabin before he starts to get bored with his solitude. He finds that he has a lot of time to do nothing, but every day he goes down to the river to write down what the sound of the waves is telling him. Jack knows the waves are not making much sense, but he feels that because James Joyce is not around to record their nonsense, he must. Jack likes to be outdoors but even better he likes to return to the safety and solitude of the cabin after being in the wilderness all day. He has begun to find uses for cheap and unusual objects that he would never before have thought of utilizing; he finds simple and inexpensive things to be so much more useful and gratifying than expensive items. Jack muses that the scenery and land in Big Sur probably looks just like it did thousands of years prior, and will continue to look thousands of years in the future. He realizes that the world works in a cyclical way, and it is beautiful and necessary; he wonders how he could possibly go mad after having such deep insights.

Chapter Eight

In Jack’s solitude, he has become extremely attached to and interested in the animals which surround the cabin. He enjoys taking care of the animals by feeding them and talking to them. Not only does Jack like to feed Alf the burro, he also cares for the mouse which lives in the cabin by leaving it plates of chocolate and cheese at night. He feels as though he could never kill another mouse in his lifetime, and he even develops an appreciation for all of the bugs that exist within the cabin. Jack once again wonders how he could possibly go insane just a short time after all of his revelations, but he will, and he knows that there are signs all around him even if he does not see all of them.

Chapter Nine

Jack first begins to see signs that he headed on a downward spiral the day that he walks to the highway to drop off a letter that he has written to his friend Julien and also one he has written his mother, requesting that she kiss his cat for him. On the way back, Jack passes Alf and has an immediate foreboding feeling, as though something terrible is going to happen which will remind him of his own mortality; the mortality of all living things, really. Jack takes a deep breath to try to rid himself of the overwhelming feeling of sadness that has washed over him, but it only makes him dizzy and then he starts to worry about his state of mind. Jack wonders how he can possibly go on with the mundane chores which he was happy performing in the wilderness now that he has come to terms with the fact that his life has an expiration date. Rather than do anything productive, Jack sits by the sea and listens to what it has to say. To Jack’s chagrin, the sea seems to be telling him to leave and go do something because he is not welcome there anymore. It is at this moment that Jack realizes his life and his mind is about to make a substantial change.

Chapter Ten

Jack departs from Big Sur three weeks after he arrived. He walks to the highway with the hopes of hitching a ride with one of the many tourists driving by; he figures it will be easy to get to Monterey where he can catch a bus to San Francisco and meet up with his friends. It had been only 3 weeks since Jack had woken up desperate in San Francisco and fled to Lorenzo’s cabin, but he knew that he must return because the sea at Big Sur had told him that he could not stay there anymore. Jack’s mind wanders as he waits for a ride; he thinks about how much the world has changed since he hitched across country for his book On the Road. The cars that pass by him now are full of families on vacation and all of the needless supplies they bring with them; there is no room for anyone to pick up a hitchhiker and many of them wouldn’t even if they had the room. Jack decides he will just walk to Monterey, but that proves to be a poor choice considering his footwear; his feet blister and bleed after he is only halfway there. Luckily for a Jack he is picked up by a nice man with a dog who takes a detour from his own trip to bring Jack to the bus station. Despite the troubles with his feet, Jack is in excellent spirits when he gets to Monterey.

Chapter Eleven

When Jack gets to San Francisco, he rests for the night in a hotel before heading to Lorenzo Monsanto’s bookstore the next day. When he gets to City Lights (the bookstore), Jack is given the sad news that his cat died the night after he left his mother’s home headed west. Jack is more upset about the loss of his cat than most people are about the loss of pets and he feels himself started to spiral down. Lorenzo offers his cabin to Jack again, but Jack decides he would rather stay in San Francisco and get incredibly drunk with his buddies. Jack meets up with his friends Ben and Jonesey; Ben knows Jack well and knows that he deals with pain and emotional trauma by going on weeks-long drinking binges. Another friend, Dave, is in town as well, and Jack recalls the road trip they took the year before. Jack can’t wait to introduce Dave to Cody (Cody is also Dean from On the Road). Jack enjoys catching up with his buddies, who are all beatniks and all very artistic minds; they chat about one another and any other topics which may pop up. Ben, Dave, Jonesy, and a few other guys all live in a rooming house on the outskirts of San Francisco, and Jack is often welcome to stay there; he likes it there because he believes there is an expert on every subject imaginable in that house.

Chapter Twelve

Jack and Dave make some plans to see Cody, which is exciting for Jack because Cody was one of his main reasons for traveling to California. Cody lives in Los Gatos, which is only about 50 miles from San Francisco so it will make a short trip in Dave’s jeep. Other guys decide to take the trip to Cody’s as well, but there is no backseat for them to sit in so they rig a mattress to serve as seating. The guys all talk about the state of the world and Dave is upset that despite the fact that the population has gone through quite a boom there is still no writer who is up to par for describing exactly what life, and the world, is like. They begin to discuss the overpopulation of everything in the world, not just people; they refer to this as the “too-much-ness”. When they realize how overwhelming it all is they decide there is no point talking about it anymore because they cannot change it so they will just drink more scotch.

Chapter Thirteen

Jack continues to see signs of his impending madness during the trip to Los Gatos; he once sees what he thinks is a flying saucer but turns out to just be a radio tower. At Cody’s house, they find him playing chess; his beautiful wife Evelyn is home as well and his children have just retired to bed. Jack is eager to catch up with Cody because he has not seen him in a while, due to Cody’s recent two-year stint at San Quentin for marijuana possession. He wishes that he and Cody could have some time alone to talk, just like in the old days when Jack wrote On the Road, but the other guys are there and Cody has to leave for work soon. Dave and Stanley are drawn to Cody as soon as they meet him, as most people are; Dave is also drawn to Evelyn who is a beautiful blond. Evelyn wants some time alone with Jack, no doubt to talk about Cody and his mistress Billie who is determined to get Cody to leave his family. The whole group heads to Cody’s job with him where he recaps tires, and they are in awe of how strong and capable he is. After they leave Cody’s job the group heads back to the rooming house in San Francisco and get drunk. When Jack wakes he feels trapped by the city and the realization that he is far away from Big Sur.

Chapter Fourteen

That morning the guys plan to visit their friend George Baso who has been hospitalized with tuberculosis. A guy named Joey shows up at the house and Dave tells Jack that Joey is just a kid from Oregon who wants to learn from the old school beatniks; he is a lovely kid who dresses in snazzy clothing. Joey immediately is drawn to Jacks’ beat-up old blue sneakers and wants to trade his new shoes for them, which Jack agrees to. Later that day Jack has a daydream in which he imagines walking through a desert and finding Joey and his disciples; from this moment he is convinced that Joey is Jesus and anyone who looks into his eyes will know that it is true. Jack and the other guys head to Mike’s house to drink, and Jack pays for everything, just as he always does. He explains to the reader that a drinking binge, as any drinker knows, usually lasts four days and by the end of it the drinker needs to sleep, but it is nearly impossible and then they fall into delirium and madness. Later the group picks up Dave’s girlfriend Romana and set out to visit George, a Japanese Zen Buddhist, in the hospital. The fact that George is ill gives Jack a foreboding feeling about mortality, once again. When they arrive George is sitting at the edge of his bed and does not look pleased to see them.

Chapter Fifteen

The group sits to chat with George for a while, but their friend seems agitated and out of sorts. They ask George if he is going to recover from this illness and be okay soon, but he tells them that he does not know. George is twitchy and keeps looking around to see if the other patients are paying attention to the fact that a group of dirty, drunk, beatniks are visiting with him. George seems as though he has aged significantly, despite only being thirty-years-old. They try to tell George stories of the good times they all had together, but George does not respond well to the stories and generally seems uncomfortable with past escapades even being mentioned. As the group leaves Jack and George take turns popping out and waving to one another, which Jack takes as a sign that things are fine; he believes that he would like to visit Japan with George sometime. As the friends are pulling away from the hospital, Jack sees George dump some water out the window, and he is confused by the meaning of such a gesture.

Chapter Sixteen

Back at the house everyone continues to drink. At three o’clock in the morning Dave and Romana have gone to bed and Jack is entertaining himself by figuring out who the “best driver” actually is. He had thought that either Cody or Dave was the best driver he had ever encountered, but then a neighbor kid named “Bruce something or other” insisted to Jack that he was actually the best driver in the world because he was the one who used to drive the “getaway car”. The kid is a Bohemian who paints houses and Jack is intrigued by his claims so he hops in a car with Bruce in the middle of the night and drives all over the city. Jack barely remembers the kid, having only seen him that one night, but what he does remember is that Bruce actually is, in fact, the best driver in the whole world.

Chapter Seventeen

Jack gets even drunker that night and finds himself thinking about his dead cat and becoming more depressed. He tries to raise his spirits by reading the biography of Samuel Johnson but all he sees in it is more death, which only deepens his depression. Just when Jack thinks he cannot take it anymore Cody calls. Cody has just been laid off from his job recapping tires, and he needs to borrow one hundred dollars from Jack so he can pay his rent. Jack, of course, agrees and plans to have Dave drive him to Los Gatos that day, then they will bring Cody back with them so Jack can meet Billie who lives in San Francisco. As the trip is being planned Jack decides it would be fun to bring all of his buddies to Big Sur to stay in the cabin, and Lorenzo Monsanto agrees with him. The guys get some supplies and alcohol and pile into two cars to pick up Cody. Jack gives the money to Evelyn, and then they grab some pizzas, and the whole crew including Cody head to Big Sur.

Chapter Eighteen

Jack feels a familiar peace when they arrive at Big Sur, and Cody is immediately impressed with his surroundings, as well. Jack thinks to himself that jail has changed Cody; he is no longer the dark and broody man he once was, but has a childlike innocence and wonder to him now. Cody sees Big Sur the same way that Jack had when he first arrived; he is amazed by what he sees but also a bit fearful of it. Alf the burro is there and, just like Jack, Cody notices the animal immediately. Dave is happy to be in the wilderness and wishes that they had brought a bunch of girls with them. Jack feels the cabin is depressing when they step foot in it; he feels like he as neglected the animals while he was gone. Monsanto knows how Jack feels because the cabin is someplace where a person should be in solitude. The guys begin to unpack, settle in, and get things ready for dinner. When they walk to the water Cody notices the car that must have careened off the bridge, and he is terrified, and in awe, just as Jack had been. Back at the cabin, Monsanto’s friend Patrick McLear has arrived with his wife whom Dave and Cody are immediately attracted to.

Chapter Nineteen

The alcohol begins to flow liberally, and the whole group gets smashingly drunk. Jack finds McLear to be incredibly compelling. McLear is a poet, and he has written a poem about sex with his wife, which is titled “Dark Brown”; Jack thinks that it is the greatest poem which has ever been written. Jack thinks he might like to read some of his poetry also, but he does not get a chance to because the topic of conversation moves on to elderly drivers while Ron sings in the background and Arthur Ma draws. The drunker the group gets the stranger the conversations and Jack’s inner thoughts become. The all head down to the beach and build a fire; Jack imagines that he is a guerilla soldier searching for the enemy. Jack finds that he feels safe at the beach when he is surrounded by others, rather than the terrified feeling he had when he was there alone. Eventually Jack and Arthur are the only two awake, and they are so drunk that they shout nonsensical things to one another across the fire.

Chapter Twenty

Jack thinks about the similarities and differences between Arthur Ma and George Baso. While both men are small and Asian, that is where their similarities end. George is quiet and not particularly friendly, but he is enlightened; George is friendly and a warm, soothing presence. Arthur is the best friend of Lorenzo Monsanto and Jack thinks that they make quite the odd couple. Arthur is only thirty-years-old, but sometimes Jack thinks that he appears to be even younger. He grew up in Chinatown, and his family is well-known. Despite the fact that his father was a creative man (a poet), he did not approve of Arthur’s interest in painting so Arthur moved to North Beach. Arthur is recently divorced, and Jack believes that Arthur’s ex-wife is the most stunning Black woman he has ever encountered. Jack feels more at ease around Arthur than he usually does around people he does not know well; he feels as though they have known one another a long time and wonders whether they may have been friends in past life. Jack wishes that he could remember all of the nonsensical things he and Arthur had said to one another that night but he can only recall a few.

Chapter Twenty-One

Jack wakes with a hangover and drinks some wine to fix it. The men have a wood chopping content, and Jack thinks to himself that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he chops wood; for example, Cody is amazingly strong and fast but it is all senseless. The guys decide to all go down to the hot springs because they want to cheer Jack up, as he is obviously in a bad place. At the spring, Cody and Jack refuse to go in because there are a bunch of naked gay men there, and they believe the spring to be full of sperm; this puts a damper on the bathing plans for the whole group. The men then head to a fancy restaurant where Cody talks for hours and Jack gets drunk of Manhattans and tells the military men at the next table over his theories on Guerilla warfare.

Later everyone goes to the city, but Jack stays behind and Ron insists on staying too. Ron is a typical kid who wants to learn from an infamous beatnik, and though Jack is sick of being looked up to he does not want to let the kid down. Ron and Jack head to the beach and see a dead mouse, the same mouse which Jack had been feeding on his previous trip. The death omens are beginning to pile up on Jack, and he can feel his mind slipping away. In the morning, there is no alcohol left, and Jack is in pain from his hangover and his emotions; he knows he is sick both mentally and physically and writhes around for hours. Jack is embarrassed to see that Ron has been watching him and tries to explain that he is not well; he is frustrated when Ron thinks taking a nap will solve Jack’s problems.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Ron decides he wants to visit McLear in Monterey so Jack helps him get ready for his trip, but Jack does not want to go with him, he would rather spend some time at the cabin alone. Once Ron leaves Jack drinks some water and suddenly fees as though everything in his life is perfect once again. He thinks that being with the guys is just one more thing that was making him go crazy; he feels at peace in solitude. Jack dealt with paranoia even as a child; he believed that there was some sort of universal secret that everyone other than him was privy to. Jack happily feeds Alf, sings to himself, and reads everything that he can get his hands on. That night when he goes to the beach, Jack tries to tell himself not to think so much and just enjoy the scenery. Suddenly he recalls a quote from a yogi named Milarepa which stated that a person should dig within himself to find what they are looking for; ups and downs are not negatives, they only help a person to feel more intensely.

Chapter Twenty-Three

In the morning, Jack is graced with the presence of Ron, Pat McLear, and Pat’s wife and child; he finds them welcome as he is no longer paranoid about his friends. Pat is a great admirer of Jack and his writing and hopes that Jack will help him to get his poem published. As Jack and Pat are talking, the door to the cabin opens to reveal that Cody is back and with him he has brought Evelyn and their three children. Cody has gotten a new job and a new station wagon, and he and the family wanted to drive up and thank Jack for the money he gave them. Cody and Jack get to spend some time alone together and smoke a joint while everyone else works on breakfast. Jack realizes he still has not spent any time alone with Evelyn either. Evelyn and Jack used to spend a lot of time together, talking about Cody and his various female conquests all over the country. Despite Cody’s free-loving ways, he always throws himself entirely into his relationships, even if he is not monogamous. Evelyn believes that she and Jack were meant to be together in some life, but she needs to be with Cody in this one. Everyone gets drunk by the fire and Cody gives Ron permission to spend some time with Evelyn, while he talks to McLear’s wife. Everyone heads to town for alcohol, except Ron and Evelyn who stay by the fire.

Chapter Twenty-Four

The group stops at McLear’s home where Jack feels he gets a real sense of why McLear is such a dark writer. On the way back to the cabin, Cody is driving, and Jack feels fearful; not fearful of crashing but of the chance that the car will just go straight up to heaven because Cody is an angel. Cody has plans for them to all see a play the next day before bringing Evelyn and the kids home; after that Cody and Jack will go see Billie. Cody is excited for Jack to meet Billie and teach her things. Cody and Jack have shared women in the past and never fought over them; Jack thinks that he and Cody’s friendship is revolutionary in this way. Back at the cabin Jack sleeps next to the fire, but Cody’s kids won’t join him. The kids decide to sleep in the jeep because they are scared of the woods. In the morning, Ron is upset because Evelyn would not sleep with him, and Evelyn is upset because Cody is always trying to pass her off to other guys. She wishes all guys were like Jack and Jack secretly hopes for the lifetime when he and Evelyn can be together because he knows she would save him.

Chapter Twenty-Five

That day Jack heads to the Western play with Cody and his family. Cody and Jack are forced to leave the play early because Jack gets drunk and starts playing the piano while the play is going on. After arranging for the director of the play to bring Evelyn and the children back to Los Gatos, Jack and Cody set out for San Francisco with Cody at the wheel. They do not speak to one another on the drive, they only smoke a joint. Jack believes that the depth of his and Cody’s thoughts is so vast they there are no longer words which can describe them. Jack is sure that if Cody were a writer he would be the greatest writer in the world. However, Cody does not need to write because his life is so marvellous that all he has time to do is live it. Jack thinks of himself, and how he has grown to love life; he feels proud of this accomplishment because to hate something is infinitely easier than to love it.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Cody and Jack arrive at Billie’s house, and the magnetism between Jack and Billie is already obvious. Cody declares that he is heading back to his home in Los Gatos and leaves Jack and Billie alone. Jack knows that Cody is not terribly upset at him for this, but he will pretend to be and they will fight about it. Jack sits by Billie’s fishbowl drinking port while her son Elliot sleeps in the next room and Billie reads aloud letters from Cody about “souls colliding”. Jack is not interested in anything Billie says but could listen to her talk for hours because her voice is beautiful, angelic, and haunting. Jack imagines that he and Billie will get married, and the two of them, along with Cody and Evelyn will live happily ever after. Jack knows this is impossible though, as Evelyn and Billie will never get along. After he and Billie have sex for the second time that day she gets Elliot to introduce him to Jack. Jack finds Elliot to be a strange child whom he is instantly jealous of.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Jack and Billie do not sleep that night; instead they stay awake and talk. Billie does not bore Jack with this conversation because they talk about things that interest him, such as Cody, Evelyn, books, and philosophy. In the morning Billie leaves for work and Jack, who is still drunk, does not get out of bed. A friend of Cody’s shows up not long after Billie leaves; his name is Perry Yturbide and he has just been released from prison on a robbery charge. Perry is a strong man who actually looks like a criminal; he also looks like he could kill a person with his bare hands for any number of reasons. It seems that everyone knows Jack is staying at Billie’s house because many people drop by that day and all of them seem to be ex-convicts and anarchists. Jack feels that this chaos should have been a sign to him of the madness that was coming his way.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Perry asks Jack to go with him to the home of an Army General where they will find some beautiful girls. Jack agrees to tag along and brings Elliot as well because Billie has not returned yet. When they arrive at the General’s home, Jack is alarmed to find that the beautiful girls are actually the daughters of the General, and they are ages eight and ten. Perry plans to kidnap the ten-year-old and instead ends up going for a walk with her. Jack is drunk and confused about what is happening around him. Elliot picks a fight with some other children and Jack makes an attempt to break it up, but Elliot only kicks him away; apparently Elliot is not too fond of Jack. Jack calls Billie to ask for a ride home, and she agrees to get them; she also is not surprised or fazed when Jack tells her about Perry’s plans for the little girl. Perry comes back, and the girl is with him; Jack thinks that maybe he is the only person he is going crazy, and everyone else is just living. Jack feels paranoid once again and thinks he may be slipping away. He longs for Evelyn but instead must settle for Billie.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

While Jack and Billie are having sex that night, Billie lets Jack watch because he will not stay in his bed. Jack thinks that this situation is a bit messed up, but Billie believes that if Elliot never sees how it is done he will never learn. That week Jack sits by the fishbowl every day as various visitors stop by to see him; they talk and Jack sits still. Perry continues to visit Jack and Jack finds the man overwhelming and terrifying. Perry thinks that Jack needs to stop drinking; he has spoken to Cody and Cody believes that Jack’s mind is slipping away from him. Perry wants to bring Jack to Los Angeles to meet his friends. Billie informs Jack that someday the two of them will get married, and they will have Cody’s blessing because he understands their love. Jack is in a drunken stupor and does not comprehend anything that is happening around him.

Chapter Thirty

Ben shows up at Billie’s house to rescue Jack, both from the house and from himself. Ben looks at Jack and can tell that he needs sleep right away. Jack is still pretty much incoherent and is only slightly aware of Ben’s presence. Jack recalls the rambling and giddy phone call that he made to his publisher in an attempt to help McLear get his poem published. Ben takes Jack for a walk, and they get a bottle of liquor to share, though before Jack can drink any of it he passes out in the park. Ben keeps watch over Jack while he sleeps and does not wake him. When Jack wakes he and Ben have a conversation similar to the one that he and Arthur had at the campfire that night; they speak to each other in nonsensical and perhaps a bit cryptic sentences. Jack and Ben walk around the city together with their arms linked and Jack muses over what a fantastic friend Ben is for rescuing him. This day has been the only day Jack has felt at peace since he left Big Sur. Ben reminds Jack of a time, back in 1957, when Jack was sure that he was the single greatest thinker to ever live. Jack tells Ben that he did not know any better back then; now that he is awake he knows that nothing about him is good, and this revelation has given him freedom.

Chapter Thirty-One

As Jack watches Ben get on the bus from Billie’s window he thinks about the fact that no one else seems to feel guilty about their lives; Jack feels guilty about even being alive. He believes that he needs to write in order to have any purpose in life. Jack goes to sit in the same chair he has been sitting in all week next to the goldfish bowl and the chair breaks beneath him; to make matters worse he sees that the two goldfish are both dead. Jack wonders if they have been dead all along or if perhaps the cornflakes he fed them had killed them. Jack is depressed by this possibility and tells Billie he just wants to go home and die with his cat. She wants Jack to marry her and thinks that he could be happy then, but Jack knows differently; he tells Billie that he is creepy, and she has no idea. When Perry comes in the room, Jack is immediately reminded that this man thinks it is funny to joke about kidnapping small girls. When Jack notices that Perry’s eyes are watering he realizes that Perry is in love with Billie though he will not admit it. Jack decides to call Dave to ask if he and Romana will pick up Jack and Billie and they can all head up to Big Sur. Dave thinks that Jack should not drink so much, but Jack tells him that drinking is not the worst of his problems. Regardless, Dave agrees to come get them.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Jack and Billie pack things for themselves and Elliot while they are waiting for Dave. Jack keeps questioning why the fish died, and he cannot shake the feeling that he is responsible for their demise. He thinks about the dead otter than he saw when he was at Big Sur and the other death omens that have crossed his path over the past couple of weeks. He cannot explain the way he feels to Billie because her thinking is too abstract to understand and she cannot stop going on about how he was placed on the Earth to be with her, and they need to get married. Jack wants to want to be with Billie, but he cannot shake his feelings about mortality and his looming catastrophic future. He is grateful that as messed up as life may be, there may still be hope for him and Billie. The chapter ends with Jack telling the reader that “this” is where it all begins.

Chapter Thirty-Three

When Dave and Romana get to Billie’s house, Jack is in a fantastic mood and is excited to set out to the cabin. Jack, Dave, and Romana all sit in the front seat while Billie falls asleep in the back. Jack enjoys riding in the front seat because watching the white line painted on the road gives him a feeling of hopefulness. Jack wants to stop by Cody’s house on the way; he tells everyone he wants to pick up some clothes but honestly he just wants Billie and Evelyn to meet one another. Cody is extremely upset with Jack when he shows up with Billie, but Evelyn does not seem fazed in the least. Jack does not care that Cody is angry with him, or he does not even notice because he is in such a fantastic mood. Jack believes that he does not honestly hold any meaningful connections to anyone in his life; he is a stranger who travels around spending time with people but he remains uninvolved. Jack thinks that everyone is a stranger, really. Jack, Dave, Romana, and Billie leave Cody and Evelyn behind and head out to Big Sur; they are having a terrific time but, Jack warns the reader, the next day is a different story.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Jack wakes to see Dave and Romana having sex. He sees that they are out of wine so when Dave and Romana are finished they head into town to get some more. Elliot has been annoying Jack with all of the questions he asks Billie and Jack cannot take it. They go for a walk down the beach Billie can see that Jack wants nothing to do with her; she threatens to kill herself and when Jack half-heartedly tries to talk to her out of it she continues her threats; she even threatens to kill Elliot too. Jack thinks that maybe she is just as crazy as he is, maybe more so. Back at the cabin Dave has returned with the wine and they all begin drinking. Jack is getting increasingly edgy, he cannot escape all of the thoughts in his head, and all he wants to do is drink. Billie is spiraling down as well; she keeps talking about killing herself and Elliot, or giving Elliot to a nice family, or of joining a convent. Billie then turns on Jack and tells him that, if he wants to be a hermit, he should stop surrounding himself with people. Jack finds that the more Billie speaks the worse he gets. He feels like he cannot stand her anymore but then he feels guilty for having these thoughts because she honestly seems like a nice person. They begin screaming at one another and Elliot starts crying; when Elliot won’t stop crying Billie beats him and then pulls him into her arms. After arguing for a while, Billie and Jack have sex on the porch with Elliot watching.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Jack is becoming increasingly paranoid, to the point that even his intimate moments with Billie feel like some plot to destroy him. Jack escapes the cabin and goes to the creek to drink some water, but he finds that the water tastes as though it has been tainted with gasoline. He thinks perhaps the neighbors put gasoline in the water to kill him. Jack stays there by the creek until Dave comes to show him the measly fish that he caught. Jack marvels over Dave and his ability to recover from the effects of the alcohol so quickly. Dave can drink for weeks and be perfectly functioning afterward, while Jack lacks “humanbeingness”. Dave tells Jack jokingly that the little fish he caught could be Jack’s savior but when Jack looks at the fish all he sees is yet another dead animal. Jack tells Dave that he thinks he needs to leave Big Sur because if he stays for the entire week that was planned he might die. Dave is sad to leave so early, and Jack feels sorry for even bringing him there in the first place.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Jack watches his friends prepare dinner while he stands on the porch terrified that the world is out to get him. He runs back and forth from the creek, paranoid at everything that he sees; he believes the neighbors and his friends are both plotting against him. At dinner, Jack feels like his friends are trying to poison him and so he eats little. In the moments that he slips away from his paranoia he feels terrible for his friends because he is a mess and has only made their lives miserable. After dinner, Jack goes back and forth between the creek a few more times, his paranoia persisting. After Dave and Romana head down to the creek to sleep Jack feels as though he is being suffocated by his own thoughts and by Billie. She begs him to sleep with her, and he refuses; he will not even sleep next to her because he feels trapped. Jack slips into a delirium where his incoherent and paranoid thoughts all run together, and he cannot possibly sleep; he cannot even close his eyes because something forces them back open. Jack begins yelling for his dead cat and for his mother to save him. Suddenly, Jack sees The Cross, and it is as clear as day.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Jack sees The Cross, and his entire body is drawn to it. Then suddenly the darkness washes over Jack again; he spends a large portion of his night going back and forth from visions of horror and paranoia to visions of The Cross and lightness. Jack is thankful for the visions of The Cross and thanks Jesus for coming to save him. As he is pulled into visions of demons once again, Jack wishes that he could just fall asleep for a couple of hours so the noise inside of his head could calm down. Elliot moves and it startles Jack; he covers the kid back up when he sees that his arms are hanging out of the sleeping bag. When Jack lies down he is finally able to drift off to sleep, only his dreams are horrible and only get more graphic and terrifying as they go on. Just as Jack is dreaming of half human, half vultures Elliot moves again and wakes him. Jack paces because he cannot go back to sleep. He gets into Billie’s sleeping bag fully clothed in case he needs to escape; he finds that even lying next to her he cannot sleep. Jack feels like he deserves what is happening to him because of the suffering of others he has written about in the past; he vows to never write again if he survives this horror.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Jack only gets worse by dawn, though he warns that reader that the morning is truly the worst of it. He walks around the valley desperate to find a place where he can get some sleep and where the tourists will not be able to see him. When he gets back to the cabin, Jack finds everyone sleeping and to him it seems as though they are all dead. When everyone wakes up, Jack insists to Dave that they all leave immediately because he cannot possibly be there anymore. The girls begin to clean up the cabin, and Billie digs a hole to bury the garbage in; Jack is not the only one who notices that the whole is shaped like an Elliot-sized coffin. Billie has been beating Elliot all morning and everyone worries that she is going to kill herself as well as her son. Jack tries to take the shovel and Elliot attacks him, crying. Eventually the trash is buried, the women are finishing the cleaning, and Elliot is napping. Jack too is finally able to nap. When Jack wakes he feels perfectly normal, and it is like nothing bad had ever happened to him. He knows that everything in his life is going to be fine, including Billie and Elliot. It becomes clear to Jack that he will head back to New York, his mother will be thrilled, the spot where his cat is buried will become a “shrine”, and the world will shine once again.